Advice for the newly minted (Brooke)

I wish that I remembered being in my mother's womb, or even better, exactly how it felt to be in the world  for the first minute or five or ten. I bet there are people who remember or have even a semblance of memory from those moments. Or at least those who claim to remember and mistakenly associate some other first-ever with the experience of being born (first bath?). The first in the next generation of my family was recently born--on my birthday, no less--and so I started thinking in this vein again. Childbirth, childhood, memories, advice, and most importantly, what it's like to be born in 2010.

This child has no idea what she's in for. I can barely guess, given how rapidly our culture has changed in the last ten, twenty years. Proud parents used to rent phones at the hospital and call relatives one-by-one in due time, and eventually they might circulate or mail a picture to those concerned. Lately, most babies have made an ultrasound debut on Facebook or Flickr before they come close to making an entrance to the world. Within minutes of birth, friends and family were already demanding my exhausted sister and her husband to post pictures, name, weight, likes, dislikes, hobbies, religious views, etc. Okay, I exaggerated those last few. Having said this, the younger you are, the quicker you adapt. Perhaps I feel, at times, burdened by technology because I was born in 1980. I didn't own a cell phone until the age of 23 and I have yet to fold to the smart phone phenomenon because you can't convince me that I need to be connected at all times. Oh yes, and I still listen to records.

Over the weekend, a friend of mine gave me a birthday card/1980 yearbook. It was about 10 pages filled with old references from the eighties. Most of us had a good laugh (anyone over 26) and mused about how things have changes, like a bunch of accomplished old people *satisfied sigh, far-off gaze*. We know we're not old, and we're not nearly satisfied enough to feign it, but honestly, a world without cell phones and everywhere internet seems a trillion light years ago, doesn't it?

With all of this in my head, I put my name on a list for an iPhone and bought an old, ratty version of a book written in 1915 (Of Human Bondage). And I devised a list of advice that I hope will transcend time (or at least provide time-machine-like laughter, as did my 80s card) and help ground my little niece when she needs it.

• Never forget the importance of reading a good book, in any medium. You will feel richer for it.
• Don't wait for occasions to buy gifts for people you love.
• Ensure you play outside of your comfort zone enough. Join a club. Travel alone. Write if you hate writing. Sing if you hate singing. You don't have to tell anyone.
• Learn how to cook for yourself.
• Make time for breakfast and staring out the window in the morning.
• Bundle up and enjoy winter. Make snowballs and forts, no matter your age.
• Find humour in something every day. Even if it's at your expense.
• Decide on an instrument and learn to play it. You don't have to master it to understand the importance of music in life and how it feels to make it.
• Stand back once a year and evaluate your life. What are you proud/not proud of?
• Don't be afraid to say you're happy or not happy.
• Determine how a genuine gut instinct feels and follow it. Accept that you are an ever-changing being and what you liked last year you may not like this year, or vice versa.
• (Relates to above) Don't be flaky. Nobody likes flaky.
• Quality, not quantity.

Easy, right? Good luck in life, baby Brooke.

Auntie Erin

My verbal ticks

I recently read something on verbal ticks: words or phrases unique to a person. I'll assume they are called ticks because these words/expressions are equally annoying and useless in conversation as they are in nature, not to mention the fact that they are small and generally go unnoticed by most unless they are persistent. The fact that they are persistent, useless, annoying is what makes them ticks.

I should add that verbal ticks are often much different than written ticks. There are most certainly "tick" words that I overuse (just by using them once) in my writing that I would nearly never say aloud, for whatever reason. The rising waters of social media and instant messaging will slowly weaken this disparity (have you noticed people using text-y acronyms like LOL and OMG in speech lately?), but for now, there remains a bit of a palace gate between verbal and written ticks.  Like "most certainly" or "undoubtedly", for example. I don't recall the last time I used this phrase verbally. It could be that it's a little redundant ("certainly" will do) and has a upturned nose, professorial air to it. Either way, it's not all that convincing. In fact, if you were so certain, you wouldn't need to tell anyone just how certain you were.

My most annoying (to me) verbal tick is "for sure", instead of a simple "I agree", which is likely how it would end up on paper. Or "hmmm"-ing aloud while I'm thinking, as though nobody is aware I'm thinking really hard until I let on with a loud hmm. (Also, it's more difficult to think clearly when you're humming.)

Hmmm, certainly I should watch and aim to rid my speech and writing of these undoubtedly useless ticks. For sure, I'll try.